The Technological Evolution of Boyfriends

Two years ago, when I left my baby daddy, I had to get a cell phone. He had cut me off our plan. I made a pittance as a student nurse part time, was a full time student, and would require hundreds of dollars down to get my own cell phone plan at the time. I did what any reasonable ghetto fabulous newly single domestically abused woman would do. I got a Pay as You Go Phone.

It was ok, you know. It served it's purpose. I could be got a hold of, and could get in touch if need be. It wasn't any worse than any other cell phone I'd had. I still had to text a-b-c 1-2-3. It was REALLY EXPENSIVE THOUGH! Especially for what I got. I had to pay $1.00 a day just for the privilege of using it. Each text was fifty cents, if I didn't buy them in bundles. It was minimally functional, but costly, time consuming, and ultimately dissappointing. Kind of like my relationship with Mystery Science Theater (more to that later) aka My Baby Daddy.

After I graduated from nursing school, I was finally free to explore the cell phone world. So many people had Blackberries and iPhones. I wanted to play! I didn't commit for a long time. I wanted to see what my options were. Finally I settled on a smart phone. It had internet access, google, unlimited texting, Facebook. Coincidentally, I started dating a guy who was a major step up for me. He was a college grad, really cute, really smart, a hard worker. He made fun of my "magic phone", mostly my words with friends addiction. Said he wasn't into trendy stuff. Insisted it wasn't worth it, that his old regular phone served it's purpose and his bill wasn't nearabout as high as mine was. I laughed it off, considering him a hater cos he was locked in a contract with some old bobo phone.

I really loved my magic phone, y'all. So many nice features. I've spent several months getting really familiar with it, till I know my way around it without looking. Since then, the android generation of phones have come out. I have not been interested. Nothing would match up with my magic phone. It had everything I needed. I was not convinced with greater picture clarity, with access to all my favorite apps, with a better service plan. I know what I like about my set up and I'm into it.

Two weeks ago, my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. It occurs to me know that if he is the Blackberry to Mystery Science Theater's Go Phone, then my next boyfriend surely is an iPhone or an Android. The thing about technology (and boyfriends) is that yes! It's cute! Man, it's convenient knowing all the little details about this platform. Some of them are pretty amazing. But the fact remains that the technology out there is growing EVERY single day, and it's entire purpose in existing is to BLOW MY FUCKING MIND. And, while it's easy to hang onto this familiar little comfort zone, with all these aspects that are thoroughly explored and part of your language in life, that the new shit is really fun to play with.

It doesn't have to brag about it. It just demonstrates it. I don't have to convince it that it deserves my business. It wants me on it's plan more than anything. It needs me and celebrates my participation in it's success, and looks to me to know how it fails so it can improve. It does not blame me for it's fuckups.

So, goodbye Magic Phone. Hello, evolution.