Friday, January 6, 2012

Can't Support Women's Rights; Gotta Bake a Pie




Facebook is rife with little bombs for me, Internets. I'm pretty far left politically, to the point where I've been prayed for after being called a Marxist by my Facebook community at times. Most of the community hails from Mississippi, as do I, so it's not that I'm surprised when this happens, just taken aback or disappointed.

Mississippi really surprised me in November by shutting down an attempt by Personhood, USA to criminalize birth control in Mississippi. All birth control. IUD's. Life saving surgeries for women experiencing ectopic pregnancies. Anything that interferes with a zygote implanting in the uterine wall of a mother, or being removed due to safety concerns. Got that? It was to be the legalization of the murder of women by medical neglect for entities that have not implanted in a uterine wall even. Well, my little ultra conservative Christian state took a stand and told our lawmakers NO! We value life, including our own lives. I was so delighted, elated even.

But, being familiar with the political machine and their tactics, I knew that with the Presidential race gearing up, and the ways laws get pushed through congresses without the approval of the constituency it wasn't the last I'd hear of it from home.

Rick Santorum says states have the right to make that choice anyways, on his nationalized campaign pedestal, which one of my friends who was very active in the movement to stop Personhood in MS put to Facebook as an outcry against potential leaders who would legalize our death and inhibit our sexuality for pundits and "morality". We still say no, and we are still fighting it, but this national exposure is infuriating, until I encounter strange women such as Pink up there.

Pink thinks I am just angry, and have no experience being entrenched in moral debates across the aisle from me. Pink thinks that unmarried women are basically slatterns who consider children a burden and need to have their vaginas controlled because we can't do it for ourselves. Pink is part of the problem, here in 2012, that perpetuates a myth of "Feminazia's" (does that rhyme with Anastasia? Dysplasia? Enlighten me, Pink.), you know, that scourge to society that believes women deserve equal legal, financial, and medical rights to pursue happiness and life. Grown ass women who are alive and contributing to society. We nurses, physicians, lawyers, stay at home mothers. We who have had ectopic emergencies save our lives. We who fight cancer, we who teach children to love one another, we who pray for the decency in others and to raise up the humble and deplore the rich. All us wicked Feminazia.

Pink further thinks that to entertain discourse with we, the wicked, interferes with her ability to get in the kitchen and bake a pie for her boyfriend, a man she is not married to, who has the power to allow her to edit her ability to think for herself by not even knowing he wanted a pie till she baked him one. None of us in the Feminazi Party know how to bake cheesecakes from scratch, or knit scarves for our children, or send them to Easter service in dresses we smocked with our own evil hands.

Pink makes me regret having a critically thinking brain attached to my vagina. One of them obviously has to go in order for me to be a good woman and person and contribute to society.

I'm really sorry, Pink. I'm so sorry I've failed my gratuitous X chromosome and all the Y chromosomes out there and not lived up to what 1957 lay out for me. I'm sorry I required intervention for an ectopic pregnancy while with my former mate. It's obviously because I was errant in my morality and not at all because nature doesn't protect every zygote to fruition in any genus or species. I will keep my mouth shut and my legs closed and barefoot in the kitchen because that's where I'll get my man, and uphold decency for my daughters in this day and age. Please pray for me, Pink. I need your strength and fortitude as I create a world we can all advance ourselves within.

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